جهت خنده دوستان ...

Dear Mr. Hamilton

Hello sir

I am your servant, very very much. I am writing to you because all the way to the handle of the knife has reached my bone

My hands grab your skirt, Mr. Hamilton; please reach my scream, Mr. Hamilton, from the hands of this man, Tom. 

I don't know what a wet wood I have sold him or what shit I ate that from the very first day he has been pulling the belt to my lift, with all kinds of cat dancing, he has tried to become the eye and the lamp of Mr. Wilson.

He made so much mouse running that finally Mr. Wilson became donkey, and appointed Mr. Tom as his right hand man, and told me to work under his hand.

Mr. Wilson promised me that next year he would make me his right hand man, but my eye does not drink water, and I knew that all these were hat play, and he was trying to put a hat on my head. 

I put the seal of silence to my lips and did not say anything. Since that he was just putting watermelon under my arms. 

Knowing that this transfer was only good for his aunt, I started begging him to forget that I ever came to see him and forget my visit altogether. I said you saw camel; you did not see camel ….. 

But he was not coming down from the back of devil's donkey. What headache shall I give you; I am now forced to work in the mail house with bunch of blind, bald, height and half height people. Imagine how many times my ass has burnt.  

Now Mr. Hamilton, I turn around your head. You are my only hope and my back and shelter.... I swear you to the 14 innocents; please do some work for me that you will see savab I mean good wages in the resurrection day.

I'll grab your skirt,.. I have six head bread eaters. I kiss your hand and Leg. 

I circle around you. 

Samad

Envelopes and Stamps

A woman was working in a post Office in California . One day she licked the envelopes and postage stamps instead of using a sponge. That very day the lady found a cut on her tongue.. A week later, she noticed an abnormal swelling of her tongue.

She went to the doctor, and they found nothing wrong.. 

 Her tongue was not sore or anything.. A couple of days later, her tongue started to swell more, and it began to get really sore, so sore, that she could not eat. She went back to the hospital, and demanded something be done.. The doctor took an x-ray of her tongue and noticed a lump. He prepared her for minor surgery. When The doctor cut her tongue open, a live cockroach crawled out

There were cockroach eggs on the seal of the
Envelope. The egg was able to hatch inside of
her tongue, because of her saliva, which was warm and moist....
This is a true story reported on CNN!

Andy Hume wrote: Hey, I used to work in an envelope
factory. You wouldn't believe the....things that float around in
those gum applicator trays. I haven't licked
an envelope for years!'

I used to work for a print shop(32 years ago), and we
were told NEVER to lick the envelopes. I never understood
why until I had to go into storage and pull out 2500
envelopes that were already printed and saw several squads
of cockroaches roaming around inside a couple of
boxes with eggs everywhere. They eat the glue
on the envelopes.

Bimbo

یه دختر توی کلاسمونه که اسمش الیسه، قد بلنده و بلوند، استرالیاییه و 22 سالشه اونجور که من فهمیدم خیلی خنگه و آی کیوش به قول خودمون " جوونای ایرانی" بوی جوراب میده !  

چند هفته پیش با کارن و آیرینا رفتیم ناهار بگیریم که دیدم این دختره همینجوری داره دنبالمون میآد من متوجه اش شدم و ازش پرسیدم می خوایی به ما ملحق بشی؟ چیزی نگفت و عین خنگا نگام کرد! کارن دم گوشم گفت :Bimbo blond بهش گفتم چی؟؟؟؟ دوباره برام تکرار کرد که معنی اش این میشه:  

Bimbo is a term that emerged in popular English language usage in the early 20th century to describe a physically-attractive but unintelligent woman 

نمی دونم چرا به بلوندها البته نه همه شون این لقب رو بعد از اون روز این کلمه رو زیاد شنیدم و یا اینکه تازه معنی شو فهمیدم.  اینم یه جک در مورد Bimbo ها  یا به اصطلاح خودمون اونایی که شش و هشت می زنن !!! برای پاریس هیلتون هم همین لقب رو بکار میبرن.

A plane is On its way to Melbourne when a Blonde in Economy Class gets up & moves to the First Class section and sits down

The Flight attendant Watches her do this and asks to see her ticket...She then tells the Blonde passenger that she will have to return to her Economy Seat.

The Blonde replies,  'I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Melbourne and I'm staying right here!'

The flight attendant Goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and co-pilot that

There is some blonde bimbo sitting in First Class who belongs in Economy and Won't move back to her seat.

The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid

For economy, she is only entitled to an Economy seat and she Will have to return

To her original seat.

The Blonde replies, 'I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Melbourne and I'm staying right here!'

Exasperated the Co-pilot tells the pilot that it was no Use and that he probably

Should have the police waiting when they land to arrest The Blonde who won't listen to reason.

'You say she's Blonde? I'll handle this, I'm married to a blonde, and I speak

Blonde!'

The pilot goes back To the blonde, whispers in her ear, and she says,

'Oh I'm sorry - I Had no idea', gets up and moves back to her seat in Economy.

The flight attendant And co-pilot are amazed and asked him what he said to make her

Move without any fuss.

The pilot replied,

'I Told her First Class isn't Going to Melbourne '.